McFarlane O’ the Sproats o Burnie Boozie

McFarlane O’ the Sproats o Burnie Boozie.

Afore that I be tyraneesed as I this while hae been
I'd raither rin frae here tae Birse
Wi peas in baith my sheen
I'd raither dee for wint o breath
Than pine for wint o love
And it's aa because McFarlane married Susie.
Noo Susie's kankered faither and mine could never 'gree
And I fan I'd ging ower that gate
He'd hing his dog at me,
So I sent my friend McFarlane roond tae see fit he could dae,
McFarlane o the Sprots o Burnieboosie.

Chorus
I dinna like McFarlane, I'm safe enough tae state
His lug would cast a shadow ower a sax fit gate
He's saft as ony gorblin and sliddery as a skate
McFarlane o the Sprots o Burnieboosie.

McFarlane spak nae word for me but plenty for himsel
He reesed the lassie's barley scones
Her kibbuk and her cail
Till her faither cried oot "Sprotty man, you should try yer luck yersel"
Tae McFarlane o the Sprots o Burnieboosie
Though McFarlane is the grimmest chiel
For twenty mile aroon
Though they buy his photograph tae fleg the rottens frae the toon
He kittled up his spunk at this
And spiered gin she'd come doon
Tae be mistress of the Sprots o Burnieboosie.

I dinna like McFarlane, I tell it's a fact
He's a nose for splittin hailstanes and humphy back
He's legs like gutteperka, ilka step his knees gang knack
McFarlane o the Sprots o Burnieboosie
He said he wis baith able, tae play at coup the ladle
Wi a ledder ower a treacle cask
And ca the churn forbye,
Anither o his winners wis sawdust mixed wi cinners
Was the spice for mettin hens at Burnieboosie
An educated ostrich frae the zoo at Timbuctoo
He had for scrattin up his neeps
So he hidna them tae pu'
I never hear the like o that come oot o ony mou'
But McFarlane o the Sprots o Burnieboosie.

I dinna like McFarlane, it's awfu but it's true
A pewter speen was tint in Jock McFarlane's mou'
He couldna weel be grimmer, taks his porridge wi a skimmer
McFarlane o the Sprots o Burnieboosie.

Oh a dirl o the teethache's nae particularly sweet
But love's the only pain on earth that ever gart me greet
It's just like kittley chilblains
Roon yer heart instead o your feet
It was aggravated by the sicht of Susie
Noo friends and kind philosophers
Ye've heard what me befell
Never lippen tae the middle man
But dae yer work yersel
Or I'll bet my hindmost sark that
Ye're a day ahint the market
As was I when I sent McFarlane roon tae Susie.

I dinna like McFarlane, I'm fairly aff o Jock
I dinna like McFarlane nor McFarlane's folk
May Susie be nae turtle, but brings the tangs or spurtle
Doon ower the heid o Jock o Burnieboosie